Space Bar-Tab-Word

Ive re-read our texts
I was coming  home
so certain of you
in my certainty
I decided Id have your baby(ies)
That I wanted to be with YOU, baby, forever

Then I came home
and you weren't so certain
you were hesitant
and distant
and said maybe you didn't want a committed relationship

I came home
to feeling abandoned once again
 by a man that I was
going to give my body for
to give you a body
Certain that I would give you a child
But I came home to a  man
who wanted his space

You needed your space and I wanted us
to be wrapped together
intertwined
I wanted to share everything with you
my feelings
my thoughts
my body
the house we talked about making a home
even  a house in my body for our child(ren)
but I came home

And you wanted space
space
space
space
space
         space
                    space

so what do I do
I cried
then I didn't anymore
I shut down
I lessen myself for you
I become smaller so you can have
bigger                                                  space
to grow
to see, that hopefully the space we share creates more space
for possibilities.
hopefully

I read your hesitance in your actions
In the words you wont say
to appease me
to try to secure me
to pacify me

you're a good man
but you're a man
a conflicted one
you're a good man


And you want space
space
space
space
space
         space
                    space
to be alone
to be you
to just fuckin be

but when we are together
you close that space
you want us tightly touching
because you are always touching me
looking for me
to touch to see to be
there isn't space when we are together
you are in the crevices of my body
invading and becoming a part of my body

so when you say you need space.....When?
At your convenience?
My body is always here for you.
My mouth will never be passive with the words I need to speak
I will never placated
I will always be adamant that you give me the person that I met
and his qualities
kisses, words, touches,feelings
I won't stop showing you
So you better never stop showing me

Because the space between us is only as short as a space bar, tab, or word.  Too close to be so far from each other.