Christine

Listened to a prestigious, PhD , with multiple masters. A psychologist's testimony about her sexual assault.  She wasn't heard when their minds were made up before she spoke
we don't matter
blatantly said
we don't matter

We rest in the dark, where we find solace
We forget how we f=get home
Because we are trying to JUST get home
And we blame ourselves for not being more cautious
Not telling anyone
for keeping our secret(s)
There are too many instances sometime to remember
But we never forget each one of them in our our subconscious
We wake up and say I know something happened to me
n\but I was drunk and I forgot who was there but my vagina is sore and he is one
We say I should not have been that fucked up
but we were and it did happen.
and our body tells. us so
and we are to blame for it
and we are confused and discombobulated
and uncertain
but we know that we were violated as we played/slept there in our overly drunken stoop
and we blame ourselves for it happening to us
and we forget and we let go and we say I won't talk about it and we live our lives as if it never happened.
Subconsciously we plan escape route and keep a friend with us and fight me and say no and protect our children from it never happening to them
but sometimes it does
and then, here we are blaming ourselves, against it
Fuck you
And here I am, triggered and trying to recollect all the TIMES it happened to me