Lowered Eyes

There is a cross to bare, too much to say, my ‘saving grace’. Im honorable. I am strong. I am resilient. I am. Oh, yeah, wana come see about me? I can make you cry. Make you beg. Make you want to be. Human. A soul. A passion. A person.   Please, come see about me. I can hurt you to the soul of your being,  because you have not earned my being.

Youre a bithch. Youre a crierw, youre soft and too empathetic and touched with too much forgiveness. Why? Iwill never be that. I am so angry at the result. Of disrespect men have succumbed us to!  Never be weak. Smile and say good bye and never see to him again. He is a low down weeakness in our bodies. A pesticide. An entity that craves your flesh. Yeah no. Never. Nope cuz im too damn good.  And u knoew it with your lowered eyes while mine remaine high.

Decided

When you’re a writer and all u wana do is tell your srory and it all becomes  convuluted and misconstrued and you say to yourself, in doubt, that maybe you’ve misconstrued reality fallacy. I mean, at the moment, it feel so far renoved fron what was- is. And then you begin to second guess what has actually happened. It is not a a make believe land, it is coherent, it is factual, it is actually what was. And you also realize, that ts is bs.  The people. A dream worked of possibilities. Hopefulness. Inaccurate. Deceitful. Misleading. It hurts to see. It hurts to speak. But heywhat will be, will be.

through my mom’s daughter’s eyes

Will never be
Contempt
In
Contempt
Cus thats silence
These words are too loutoo stronmy body will never be able to hold
Theyre too much for one

Especially me

Im a mom
A songle mom
Of three
Im a mom
I mom to
My mom
Im criticized
To the reduction
Of being human
Im judeged
Not by merit
But being
A mom

To my mom

She doesnt like me- is
My sisters and i
Shes doesnt see us

My sisters and I

We will never donrigjt

Ya know- my sisters and i
In my mother’s eyes

She worships the community she servers
Without condemnation, without judgement, without...

Yet, her daughters and I

Her daughters and I
Are without exception,
Misguided
Lost

Mommy

We’re lost
Looking for your lovw

Why dont u love as as u do the community?

contrary

I am going to GLOW so bright, the sun is going to ask me how I did it
The moon as well
And the stars

I will become the sun, to have all revolve around me
to hold me
to inspire
to illuminate
to never be replicated

Fucked

Damn, Im fucked up
Im caught in the past's present
im tangled in the current future
I prohibit the should be of now
Damn, Im fucked up

I ready writings and
without doubt
that I am utterly
Fucked up

Im dancing with the past
Im saturated with it
You can fuckin smell the stench
of
Fuck you
 Fuck me
Fuck this
just
Fuck

just fuck
just fuckin fuckin FUCK

But
Im coming out fuckin and
NOT
being FUCKED
So
FUCK YOU

dying

They dont see im dying. They are asking me for so much with som little to give
They dont see im dying. By giving
Im dying
Slowly
Tired
Unfoundeath keeps knocking
And no one but i can hear it